Scribblings of the Opiated Sherpa

My favourite saying of late Is that I wanna cry. The world has been crumbling around The people The state of affairs The disbelief. I say the words Jokingly But there's a piece of me That would kindly accept A tear... Or two. There have been more days Than less That I could use a reset button. I would start it all again, There are times where I regret Everything. If I wanted to live with no regrets I probably could have done more I probably could have said more I should have meant more. Morbidity Mortality Time... All things weighing me down. There's this sudden end It's coming soon Sooner for some Not soon enough for others But it's coming. If I was to go right now Away Gone Left it all behind... I don't want anyone to think of me After the fact. I don't think many will Some might A passing glance Something to do But I'll be gone Somewhere more To where I'm supposed to be. Africa Asia Europe Or Beyond. I haven't quite decided Yet But I will.

I've been trying to find a song To catch the idea of what I want to say Something we can both share. Lyrics to touch the soul Music to bring us together But the question remain. I wanted to find the perfect one The one that says everything And I want to be sure. Will it be too much? Are you gonna run away when I play it? Will you sing along if you stay? It's going to need a moment A moment like no other Like the time I have you alone. I'll rehearse the moment to myself I want to get it right And I'm going to need to time it perfectly. The moments we've shared Haven't been quite right Yet I know the feeling is there. The magic As I look you into in the eyes And I hold you right there. Save that thought I'd say As I run over to the player. I'd hit play And the moment would envelop us That would be it. There you'd take a moment Think to yourself until you're sure It's only a few bars when you figure it out. You'd look back at me As if to say

I'm back to this Last night didn't work I was still awake to partially awake for hours. How could I not think about you And you And me? Where does all this time go? Why is it wasted? Where I am supposed to go now? I'm going to try and sleep again My mind makes no promises Despite being convinced I'm getting stronger. Last night's thought process will be a little bit different Probably not by much But enough that I probably won't see 2am. I want to convince myself That either of you shouldn't be here One is definitely easier than the other. I'm still reflecting Even in the middle of this piece It's distracting. My heart bleeds a bit Some for you Mostly for me when I awake from my daydream. My skin is breaking out in stress My eyelid follows suit with it's twitching Suprised my hair isn't falling out.

I'm trying to hold myself up Against the winds of doubt Against the weight of loneliness I am growing weary of it all There are times That I want to give up To meet a sweet release When the seasons change My heart always seems to stay the same I'm doing something wrong No one seems to want to point me in the right direction Give me a hint Leave me with a little more wisdom The circle I run in Doesn't seem to have the exit I'm looking for It's a pretty lame ride I hope I didn't pay too much for it.

I rub my eyes for clarity, but the lines are still blurred. I drink to blend them together, but it all comes apart later. I try to do one to do the other, but everything seems to get worse. I'm damned if I do, Damned if I don't. What do I do? I ask questions to know answers, but with no reply, comes no resolve. Less of a position I wish I knew of, that way, I'd feel less sorry for myself. Time always seem to play, a simple game of jump-rope, but it just seems that I can't get in. What could I be possibly doing wrong? Is it wrong to be me? Is it wrong to be sincere? How does everyone else make it seem so easy? >

I feel like writing a country song, But nobody has died, Not that I know of. The car broke down, Who knows if there was even a girl to begin with, It's been a intraspective evening. I can't play the guitar, I don't have a band, So there's not gonna be any music. I felt like writing a country song, But I don't think there is enough to go on... Besides... I hate country music.