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Showing posts from 1998

A Cry Out

Confidence. Weak, Strong, Shattered. I couldn't believe it. I said something, I meant, Indirectly. Watching you move, Dancing with you, It made it so easy, With so much overhead. But what was it, You could leave, It was so easy, What was it!?! I was believing, And I was forgetting, I had to leave, You took me somewhere else. But you had to remind, Remind me about the time. You have no idea, The impact you made, Before, While, And after. You shut me down, You shut me out. I felt it all. I fell down. You kicked me, You finished me. You might as well, Beat me into the grave. I still have so many, Many questions, About you, ...About me. If it wasn't for the time? But it must be tough, To keep all the guys off, Of you. Why the hell do you need me. I'm nothing, A candy bar, A convenience store. Take a bite, Enjoy the moment, Throw away the wrapper. I wish you got to see, More of who I am. What I could be, For you. But apparently, Myself, My actions or words, Aren't worth, Wha

Tiring Mistake

A week, A week's worth of waiting. I tried to meet, Tried to be on schedule. I couldn't see you. But hoped for you. Hoped to see you. Maybe I found you, And maybe I didn't. I'm curious to know, If it is you. I remember, Where we first met, First saw you, Spoke to you. Only my mistake, Has put me in this situation. Only myself, Can resolve the problem.

Insomnia Angel

Again I find myself, Alone in the dark, No where to go, No sleep in my body. The furnace shuts off, To cool itself down, My mind can't stop thinkin', About the angel on the bus. She is so pretty, So smart, so right. All keeps me from sleeping, From sleeping tonight.

Click!

Click! A flick of a switch, And my heart starts racing. It starts to fly. Fly away to you. At a place, So unlikely to meet, So unlikely to see, Beauty like yourself. But my heart starts to settle, The beats become slower, The nervousness sets in, When will I see you again? I can only try my best, To time it just right, To see you again soon, As you slide into my life. I thought we connected, When we had a long chat We have so much in common, What do you think about that?

Complex of Complexions

My complex, The internal complex. I try to understand, Try to figure out. So complex, So much thought. Such a puzzle, So long to finish. I want to be, Put together, Figured out, No matter how long. My pieces are scattered, Around in circles, To gather my self, I'll feel dizzy. So much to think, Too much to comprehend. I must break down, Into simpler thoughts. We may have to break, To make fit. We might have to push, To wedge in the details. Don't jump, To conclusions, Of unknown, Proportions. I don't want to, Get ahead, Get confused, Or get lost. It will take patience, To make me whole, Make me one, Make me.

New Shadow

A new shadow, On the plains of my mind. She is cute, smart and funny, Is there any other kind? Her shadow covers, All of the reasoning sands, She roars across my earth, And it hurts me where she stands. She might not know it, She might not see it. But I know for sure, I'll let her be it. For now I think, Like there is no tomorrow, And now I want to lend, Just for her to borrow. If I was to paint, This moment in time, It would be the end of winter, The spring at the drop of a dime.

Where Are We?

If you care to remember, Care to remember me. What do you see? Am I still there? Do I look the same, Same as when we were - Or has my face disappeared, Into a dark, deep, Oblivious sub-conscience. Do you want to, Want to remember? For soon it's December, And then the New Year. Where will we both be, When a reunion comes along? Will memories be so vivid? We have moved on. Our lives went away. Did I see you there? It couldn't have been you.

Fading

You're starting, To fade away. Here, then, Faded, today. It's a matter of time, Before you are, A precious memory, Like my first star. I wish I wouldn't, Go away like this. But steps and turns later, The maybe is what I miss. I may have gone, From you long ago. But tonight, Your star gives a glow. A rose before, Red as the fire, There once was, Now - little desire. You were the reason, To go home. Now I am caring less, Now I'm going to roam.

Heartfelt

It's like you are dead, It's like you are gone. I can't sense you at all, But I know you're not done. I can't see you, But I remember. You can't see me, Though I write from 1 to December. These words that I write, May never see the light of your eyes. The things that I feel, Are larger than our lives. I know what I saw, And I know what I felt .I saw everything ever, And your air is what I smelt. If I reached my hand out, Would you pull me in close? One moment again, Is what I'd treasure the most. The deaf ears this may fall on, The heart that has moved on, We may never have had, But I saw what we could have gone on. You may not understand me, You might simply not care. But you definitely should realize, What I saw I couldn't bear. You were the only one, To see who I am. You may be the one, To act as a dam. My heart keeps flowing, Like the water from the sink. To harness my power, Take a glass of it to drink. I would have gave it my best, If the time woul

Changing Now and Before

The rhythm of the engine, Keeps the beat to itself. The second hand races, All the way to the 12. Minutes gone by, Thoughts can't be spared. The ominous darkness, To me, I'm not scared. Small lights in the distance, Doesn't mean they're awake. The cold of the night, Makes myself quake. For the new autumn arrived, Frost soon to come. To be home right now, But no home for some. I sit awake late, In such a big city. To be back in BC, I feel no pity. The winter will be harsh, There will be lots of snow. The leaves fear it too, But they have no place to go. The times are changing, I have no fear of that, All my days will come, I know for a fact.

Away From You

I leave still thinkin', I leave still unfulfilled. I didn't say anything, Didn't do anything. I saw you. I saw a new you. You on the court, You with someone new. I couldn't help but look, You in the black, I was in the field, With 12 on my back. I don't know much, But I feel a lot. And it's my intuition, That says it's you. With my hands tied back, And my eyes blindfolded, I could find my way back, To where you are. For I would make it my mission, Or die an unhappy soul. Ready for another wait, My time will come again. Even if my time, Is years to come, I shall be waiting, That fateful moment. When you will know, What I have known, For months upon months, Or weeks upon weeks. But for now I turn away again, Realizing my time has passed, My courage wasn't there, And my feelings just as strong.

Towards You

The distance traveled, To be closer than before. The time it took, Just to want to see you more. As the hours go by, The meters gone by, Seeing the sun die, Should I give you a try? One part wants to. Others do not. Should I call, Or act as I forgot? The wheels are turnin', The oil is burnin', I just can't decide, But I guess I'm learnin'. The darkness calms, The music soothes, But you are just a ringin', My local phone booths.

Write You

I want to write, Only to you. My feelings on the page, Lonely and true. Sitting for hours, With things to say, Writing at night, 'til the first light of day. My inspiration, Stuck in my mind, Only your memory, So cute and so kind. But my words cannot sway, Your mind my way, Only my actions, But I am so far away. I continue to write, To keep up the hope, Instead of you going away, And I having to cope.

Reminder

You may wonder why I continue to write you. You may wonder why I see you so vividly in my mind. You are my greatest memory. You make my heart fly. I may obsessed, but I will it my best, for you. You are a perfect fit. So perfect for me, I couldn't believe, how I didn't see months before I'd leave. For now that I think to November, back in time, where I vaguely remember. I noticed you there, so quiet and so cute. I couldn't say anything, was zipped and mute. So long you sat, so long I sat watching. So much time, every second fading. I saw you there, in the halls, to and fro, up and down, side to side. The time to grow up was then. After the dance. After the duet together. I'm nobody the kids want to be, I can't be Superman. But the song, the both of us, yes we can bring ourselves together. I knew it was you. You are the one. You are her, because you've seen me. You were with me. You know me. That is something other haven't seen. What

Hidden Honour

In a time, where there is, no honor in the heart, of the average man. Where there is, no sense of, one and only. Where it seems, everybody is out, for everybody. Where it seems, it takes many wrongs, to figure out the right. Buried beneath, the wrongs, and the mistrust. Buried beneath, the past, and the future. Presently, I think I've found, my right. Presently, it will take time, for it to be fact. For thou, I shall wait, the time. For thou, I shall not, give up.

Rolling Fate

Tonight I watched, The dark clouds roll. Tonight I felt, The heat taking its toll. The clouds grew, And the birds were gone. Blue skies, Fell away like the sun. The wind blew in, The trees bent over, Closed each window, 'til none were left over. Small pellets fell, Onto my hands, The drops grew larger, Over the farm lands. I took off my shoes, Kicked off my socks, Ran to the door, And undid the locks. I jumped outside, All warm and dry, She stood inside, Beginning to cry. I came back, All tired and wet. I asked her "What's wrong?", She continually wept. I brushed the tears, Away from her eyes. Her voice was all, Deep breaths and sighs. She couldn't stand seeing me, Dancing in the rain. It brought back memories, Of her and the train. It was her and a friend, Out at the tracks, The rain came down, As the train rolled back. The rain was hard, They didn't hear it coming, The girls couldn't see, The light that was shining. My girl caught on, But her friend was

Familiar Glare

I don't need, this space you left me. I don't need, to spread my wings, and fly away. I just want, to stay grounded. I just want, to be home, and close to you. The light bounces, from face to face. Even though, you are not here, I can still see you. How can I forget, the shimmering beauty. How can I forget, that sweet voice, and soft touch. Now it is over, left on good terms. Now that it's over, I must start again, and a new light.

Broken Marathon

The last mile, one mile too far, I ran, was too far. Off the cliff, I fell for days. If I hear, you call down, I don't know how, long it took, to reach my wanting ears. I ran, for you. Not 'cause you wanted me to, but because I needed to. The map said, the bridge was out. There isn't really, a way back. Don't send for help, don't say you're sorry. I did it, I did it to myself. I can make it back myself. Part of me are broken, but I did it to myself.

Write You A Year

Would you trust me, To write you a year? One calendar year, Of your wonderful, Beautiful existence. To write you a year, A happy new year, To a white Christmas. With what you have, Always wanted. If I asked, Of what you desired, Would you hesitate to say, My name, Or not at all. If I could write, Those 365 days, From front to back, All your days sunny, And your nights fulfilled. Do I hold, Your happiness, Your dreams, Your desires, In the pen?

Fear of the Small

I am afraid, Of your pretty little hands. My heart is in your hands, So small and insignificant. With swift stroke, The small heart, Would be crushed, Beaten and gone. A heart so, Dedicated and strong, Yet so small, And non-existent. It calls to you, Like a tree, Falling in the forest. Did you hear? No, of course not. Why should you feel, Anything for me, And my heart.

My Song

The CD player spins. The song has ended. The song I love, not tired of yet. Still a lot of time, left before I buy, into something new. But not this song. Not this time. This song I could, listen to forever. Nothing new, nothing old, can change my mind. This CD will spin, again and again. Maybe for that song, or I'll look for, something new within. A new surprise, but forever a favorite.

Waiting...

My mind, hasn't stopped thinking, about you, ever since, you know. In a life, lacking moments, like those, you are only, number one. I know now, how you feel, and I can't help, but think, I am hurting myself. Maybe it's time, to not say anything. My lips are sealed, only until, you unlock the past.

Poem 35

I took the test, And I did my best. I answered the question, And I wrote down the rest. It asked about colors. It asked about red. It asked for a person, It was you that I said. I remembered that dress, From that memorable night, I remembered you, In the white light. So I wrote down your name, And continued to write, I finished the test, So if I checked if I was right. I looked at the colors, Went straight to red, For my eyes were amazed, I love you it said.

Cheryl

Once again, I find myself, Sitting and thinking, Thinking of you. My time is limited, Limited to what, You can't give me. I will miss you. I looked, Into your eyes, And I could see, Forever. But I knew, I couldn't explore, What your forever, Would mean to me. If I could, Stop time, In one moment, I would. I never thought, That it was, Going to be easy, And I was right. I hate having, To let go, And give up, On someone. You were, So different, Style, Action. We had, Shared, Our thoughts, Our opinions. I run, The past, The camp, On a maddening loop. Do I look, Too far, Into this, Into us. I wish, There was, More time, More us. Its crazy, What we, Could have, Had. Will we, See each other, Again, Maybe? Thank you, For your time, I needed, This.

Partial War

I saw part of a war. It was on film. Glory with gory, And life with sacrifice. Men had lives, Lived before battle, Good lives, Of their own business. Some never made it home, To help their others, Have a home to come back to, Where their lives began. Would I go to war? Right now - I just might. For I have nothing. Nothing but the future. Few dreams, Can be sacrificed, For the dreams of the future, If our future was in peril.

Regret

Self-esteem, very little. Self-confidence, lacking. I saw you, I liked you, I wanted you. I didn't need that. Time, so short, so fast, not enough. What is was. What it could have been. What I wanted... it to be. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, didn't.

Beautiful Fruits

To be the fruit, Fruit of the tree, of everyone's lust, is an accomplishment. In the years, years of growth, years of ripening, should be taken slow. To see such beauty, beauty in such fruit, and taint it from within, dulls the beauty. Once tainted, the defiler is responsible, now for the beautiful fruit. No one will touch it now. To walk away, away from your poison, not to finish the job, is one of cowardliness. To grow new fruit, in the once beautiful one, is murder, murder of years to come. Tend the new fruit, make it grow, slowly and protected, from happening again.

No Change

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing has changed. I go, from here, to there. Different city, different home, different family, no friends. Maybe, some things, have changed. The basis... hasn't. Still not... doing anything, no relationship, no fun. Only a week. A new life doesn't begin right away. I at least wish for my friends. Only my music... is my sanity.

Old and New

As I look into my book, see all your faces, remember the memories, I realize... I will never forget you. I look around here, see the new buildings, make new memories, I still know... I was with the best. I take a peek to the future, the dark and unknown, never forgetting before, and with the hope... of seeing you all soon.

The Secret Admirer

Time never favors the young. Nor was I ever born with courage. But memory is the only thing that holds true. Could it have been, that over seven years have passed, since the day that the light of the heart, had shone down upon you? Over time I have watched you. Through the school days I looked upon you. Your actions and choices changed your exterior, but your soul and personality were left untouched. I see the girl of days before, when I look inside you. You are and will be forever special. Why must I say it now? Why save it 'til now? For as time passes, memories will be forgotten. I know I will never forget you, and I feel it is best to be known. My feelings. I know this might not change anything now, and it may not change how you feel in the future. Whether you like or dislike who I am, I believe it is important to truly know what I felt. Do not tell me what I need to hear. Tell me what you need to say. Ten years will go by and I will always be... The Secret Admirer

Did I

Did I not say, what you wanted to hear? Or did I say, what you didn't want to hear? Did I promise, and not come through? Or did I not promise, what you needed to happen? Did I call, when you weren't home? Or did I not call, when you needed to talk? Did I comfort, when you were fine? Or did I leave you, when you were alone? Did I? Or did I? Did I? Or did I? Didn't I? Or didn't I?

S.O.S.

Who was it? Was it you? Was it me? Who is to blame? What was it? Where was it? When was it? Is it to blame? You got to say to me, my curiosity, is killin' me. What can I do? How can I help? Can I help? May I help? I need to know, Know what's wrong, Why are you not... not talking?

Quick Thought

I don't know who you are, what you do, what you think where you go. I want to know. What do you think, When you see me, talk to me, touch me, me. I need to know.

Outside In

I stared in the mirror. Who is that? Do you know who he is? I know nothing, about what you think, about him. I look inside myself. I know who I am. I am lost, I am empty I am confused. Do I have something in common with him? How well do you know what's outside and what's within? Do you know how to help the outside as well as within? I know. Be there, for within. And the outside will become one with what's inside.

Belief

I don't believe In God, Angels, or Heaven. A spotlight, an errant ray from the sun, or just a glitter in your eye, caught my attention. I was from across, the room, the floor, the world. It fell upon, my Angel, my Goddess. Do I believe now?

Gone

Its gone, Its passed, Passed by, Gone. I had the chance, To say, To say what I felt, Gone. You've been, Beside me, In front of me, Gone. I could, I couldn't, I didn't, Gone. Would you? Would you have? Doesn't matter, Gone.

What About Him?

I've seen you, I've seen you with him. How is he? How is he to you? Does he give you, What you need, What you want, When you want it? Is he there, To listen, To help, When you need him most? Does he care, When you're mad, When you're disappointed, At him? Would he ever, Say he's sorry, Beg forgiveness, When he has done you wrong? I want you, To be happy, To be cared for, Whenever and forever.

Holding On Inside

Once, You were just The one across the room. You were the cute girl, The cute girl I thought of. You, You gave me your picture. I hold it, I hold it close. You are quite beautiful. I, I never knew, How beautiful you are, Until today. So many wonderful images. You, You have just became, More beautiful, More beautiful than ever before. You are number one. Can, May I have this dance? To hold you close, It would be, A dream come true.

Little Things

Is it the little things, That get your attention. I open the door, I let you in. I pull out the chair, So you can sit down. Is that what you like, Like to see your man do, Do for you. Is it the smile, That helps you through the day. When it rains outside, Inside we sit together. When life is quicksand, I hold your hand and never let go. Is that what makes you feel, Feel better about yourself. Is it the past, That brings joy to your life. I remember when we met, And we look back. I save every note and letter, For us to reflect later on. Does it warm your heart, When I save everything, Everything we did and say. A rose, A dozen roses, For you and forever. I can't believe it's been, Been as long as it has. It seems like only yesterday, That we had first kissed.. This love of ours, I hope will never end.

Needing to Know You

You are you, I am I. What is it? What is it about me? I am not like you? But I like you. You seem to like, me, my mind, myself. What else? That can't be it. I know I like, you, your smile, yourself. I don't know All of you. What you think, feel, and want. What you dream. What you crave. Where your going. You write me, You write me letters. I don't feel, I don't feel what you feel. They are only words, No emotion. You, You and me, Sit together and just, Just talk. What we need to know, About each other. To get into, Into each others head, Mind, And soul. And eventually, Further into each others heart. Is that just, Just too much, Too much to ask. If it is, It was nice, Nice to know you.

Depression

A voice, A look, A connection, All of the above, None of the above, What is it? I can't say I can't say much, About what it feels like, Feels like to love. Sad and depressed, Depressed and lonely. I can't say, I can't say I haven't tried. I can't say I don't want one. I want, I need, Someone, Someone who wants me. Morning, Morning finds me lonely. Lonely, I'm in a low, In a low, So low, But a familiar low.

As Your Friend

How have I been? Am I your friend? I want to be the friend you can look, look to for an ear, an ear to listen. As a friend, I could be there, be there when you're hurt, when you're excited, when you need to yell at someone. As a friend I wouldn't mind. I'm the one, the one you could blame, the one you could punch, and hurt, only if it makes you feel better. I love to talk, I love to listen, I could argue, I want your opinions, I want to hear your dreams, I want to know what makes you tick. In return just ask, Just ask anything, What I like, What I want in life, What do I think of you, And I'll tell you what I want to say. But it might not be, It won't always be what you want to hear, but, aren't I entitled to that, to that much. I have an open mind, And I hope you do as well. Isn't that what friendship is, To be there, Be there for each other, For one another, Through the tough and the slack, Trust, Trust me, Trust each other.

My Advice

My advice to someone who is lost, away from the hard and rough trail, the trail called life. Life is a path, covered in bright lights, mystic darkness, and the deep labyrinths of love. Your heart, it wants to go there but you're mind wants, wants to go elsewhere. Each path will be tough, but one path, the right path, will have the correct answer. I'm not you're heart, nor your mind, but the lighted path, the lighted path of life, will come very soon. The woods look tough, but you'll more than likely, be there again. Take it on the chin, remember where, where you've been, and follow what you believe is right.

Stranded

I've been stranded here in the present time, alone, ...still alone. Many, many times, boats pass by. Small boats, large boats, skinny boats fat boats. All kinds of different old boats. How can I be so superficial about what kind of boat I'm on. Catching my trout, I realize why I'm this way. My boat will not only rescue me, maybe it'll hire me as a full time member of it's crew. Then I will sail and life will sail and life will take its course to new places that we've never been. People we've never met, things w'haven't seen. Then in our old age, we'd sail our last trip, only to go down together. To slip into the cold nothingness. The cold water will never kill the love untold. Alas, I still sit here waiting, waiting for my ship to come in. Still here, sitting, trying to think of something else. Loneliness sets in and maybe it'll turn into madness. Coconuts and sharp rocks by my side, but I still wait for someone to try to cut th

Box of Switches and Dials

Today, I look at this strange box full of wires and switches, could it be? Is there love? The wires hum when I turn this box on. Beep says the box when it wakes from another sleep. Another day, more hours wasted, alone. Places to go, people to see, mail to write. I do what I can, keeping myself from boredom. The phone rings, wrong number. I gave them some of my mind. Calm down. Don't go nuts. Something will happen, soon I hope. Soon. I can't sit still. I call my friend. I ask what he is doing. All he can say is a big fat nothing. My spirits start to drag as I need a pop. I get in the car and try the Pop Shoppe. "Pepsi!" I yell and like usual a tall one for me. As I drive back, the snow falls. It becomes night soon and the strange box know only the best can happen. As it snows during the late hours of the evening, I find the strange box and it leads me to find something. Something new and intriguingly sweet. Somewhere, someone is innocently sitting do

On the Line

If you could see into my eyes, what do you want to see? How do you want it to be? Do you want it to last forever? Or do you want it to be short and sweet? For my days are limited in time and I want to know what you want myself to try. I can fulfill your desires over many miles. Roads and wires, words and infinite other styles can only help myself help you. Can you see what you mean to me? I want you to be safe and secure, and able to speak freely. I don't want to be the bad guy, mainly I want to see you happy and I want to be there to enjoy it with you. Don't think you owe me, your beauty is enough for this guy. Maybe I'm not so very tough, but I would try anything for you. Be there for me and always show me how much I care.

Wishful Thinking

Is there a place for myself in world of ours? Is there a place for a person of loneliness in a world full of lovers? I want someone to help me find others who look at me as a person who can love and listen to them. I am the man for someone who is looking for someone like me. I wish I could find her soon. Some nights I lay awake and wonder who would come to my rescue, who would help me find my way out of the tunnel of despair. "I see someone in the distant dawn!" I cry. Is that her? Have my wishes come true? "Fly, my message, catch her before she gets away." The long journey has begun. Let's hope my message arrives safely. She's the on. I just know it. Will she ever see the importance of my message? Wait, she turns around, she sees the message. She now learns the secret of my deepest depths of my love and passion. A new figure arrives and holds her tight. Where is the message? Did she throw it away? Could she have? I did see her hands, as they gracefully flow

Online Realism

Have you Have you ever seen What this friend, friendship Is? It is just piles and piles Of wires, plastic And glass. Who are you? Who an I? I could tell you and you the same. Would that change What we have or The wires and plastic And glass. Your words and thoughts, They grace my screen. I may think Too much of the Situation.