Scribblings of the Opiated Sherpa

I'm back to this Last night didn't work I was still awake to partially awake for hours. How could I not think about you And you And me? Where does all this time go? Why is it wasted? Where I am supposed to go now? I'm going to try and sleep again My mind makes no promises Despite being convinced I'm getting stronger. Last night's thought process will be a little bit different Probably not by much But enough that I probably won't see 2am. I want to convince myself That either of you shouldn't be here One is definitely easier than the other. I'm still reflecting Even in the middle of this piece It's distracting. My heart bleeds a bit Some for you Mostly for me when I awake from my daydream. My skin is breaking out in stress My eyelid follows suit with it's twitching Suprised my hair isn't falling out.

I'm trying to hold myself up Against the winds of doubt Against the weight of loneliness I am growing weary of it all There are times That I want to give up To meet a sweet release When the seasons change My heart always seems to stay the same I'm doing something wrong No one seems to want to point me in the right direction Give me a hint Leave me with a little more wisdom The circle I run in Doesn't seem to have the exit I'm looking for It's a pretty lame ride I hope I didn't pay too much for it.

I rub my eyes for clarity, but the lines are still blurred. I drink to blend them together, but it all comes apart later. I try to do one to do the other, but everything seems to get worse. I'm damned if I do, Damned if I don't. What do I do? I ask questions to know answers, but with no reply, comes no resolve. Less of a position I wish I knew of, that way, I'd feel less sorry for myself. Time always seem to play, a simple game of jump-rope, but it just seems that I can't get in. What could I be possibly doing wrong? Is it wrong to be me? Is it wrong to be sincere? How does everyone else make it seem so easy? >