Alone Again

Well, I am just facing it now.
You are not here.
You haven't been here,
And you are sure as hell not going to be here.

But now that I see this,
I sometimes have to believe,
That I am better off,
Without the happiness you would bring.

Again, I find myself checking the mail,
For hopes that everything I feel,
Everything I tend to believe,
Is all for not and you want to be here.

I haven't seen you in so long,
But I have continued to believe,
That maybe, just maybe,
The sun will shine again.

The funniest thing,
The most ironic thing,
Is that you haven't a clue,
Of what I think.

You don't know,
Who I am,
Who I want to be,
Who I'm not going to be.

A sobering depression,
And I am the only one who
Feels it...
Knows it.

If I could hide a little longer,
I would be dead.
And people would say,
He has died a happy man.

Oh how wrong they would be,
Because my fate right now,
If I was to predict it,
Would not be one of pleasantries.

There is a piece that I am missing,
A very small, yet substantial piece.
I know where it is,
And I believe you know too.