Hard To Smile

I'm sorry,
But don't you think it's hard,
To smile.

It's hard when everywhere,
Or just an inviting place,
Looks great from a distance,
But turns you away,
For an unbeatable reason,
And you still understand.

It's hard to be happy,
When everything you reach for,
Fights back.
When you just want to hold it,
To look and not keep.
It's hard to choose with no options.

I want to smile,
I really do,
In my natural state,
And not an artificial joy.
For now, I'll wait.