Paint Me Failed

A familiar color has been painted.
A color that has shown its face time and time again.
I don't know what I do,
To deserve such an ugly color,
But somehow it always seems to find its way,
Onto every surface of myself,
And I don't know how to stop it.

It's like a damnation that I can't seem to break,
A chill I can't warm up,
A hole I can't fill,
A point I can't get.

I can't believe how unlucky I am,
To want the one thing I need,
But at the same time,
It's the only thing that I can't seem to have.

I would turn down a million for her,
Eternal life is hell when you're alone.

It would never be my choice,
To have this upon anyone else,
But everyone seems to want it,
To happen to me.
I'm not allowed to choose,
Nor am I allowed finish it all.

A rocky bed looks comfortable,
When the air around you is stale.
The locker under the sea is welcoming,
When the land I share is empty.

A shot in the dark, and a miss.
Shots fired in every direction,
Couldn't hit the air I breathe.

It may be a destiny I will live with,
Or disease that I can't cure.

Oh, how I could use the help,
To find out.